Friend. Acquaintance. Associate. Study buddy. The girl/guy I’m “talking” to. The list goes on, and on, and on. So many terms and titles get placed and determined for everyone in life and it feels as if as time passes, even more labels are created. The labels seeming more ambiguous and specific. It takes you (or, at least me!) to plain confusion. Do I have friends? Are we close enough to talk about this? Where do we stand? And most of all, can I trust you and will you be there for me?
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized it’s much harder to find a core friend group. Sometimes it even feels like, if I don’t have that group now, will I ever? However, it could be the overwhelming amount of “squad goals” pics we see on the daily or, maybe, the guarded walls that we as humans put up until we feel comfortable. Anything is possible. But, the definition of a friend does not change. A friend, someone who can act is your confidant, lift you up when your down, tell you like it is, and the list goes on.
I can go on for hours on theories of why it’s hard to find a good (no, amazing) set of friends, but that’s time-consuming and never going to solve the problem. So, let’s discuss how to find a close set of friends:
- Open, but selective: Being open to “something different” opens the doors to an array of possibilities. Staying closed off will only allow a revolving door of the same narrative over, and over again in your life. Be open, but do be selective in with who and how much you share amongst the new people you meet.
- Leave your room: You’re not going to find new friends while you’re on your phone…in your room…by yourself. Now, I’m not saying to go hang out at parties and bars every weekend, but try going to the gym or work out class, college events, and, if you’re not shy, just strike up conversations with the people around you!
- Let go: I personally did not have a set of close girlfriends until my freshman year of college. Throughout high school, I had feelings of loneliness and wondered, when will I find my lifelong friends. However, I learned to stop worrying and be myself. Soon, I was blessed with wonderful who slowly started to enter my life. I can honestly say my friends were worth the wait.
A real group of friends can be hard to come by, but it is possible to find. And no, it may not be the girl squad we see in the media or a phone full of group messages. Each friendship is unique and shaped by the holders. Cliche? yes. True? I sure do believe it.